The Good, the Bad, and the Aunties

Informationen zum Autor Jesse Q. Sutanto Klappentext "After an ultra-romantic honeymoon across Europe, Meddy Chan and her husband Nathan have landed in Jakarta to spend Chinese New Year with her entire extended family. Chinese New Year, already the biggest celebration of the Lunar calendar, gets even more festive when a former beau of Second Aunt's shows up at the Chan residence bearing extravagant gifts-he's determined to rekindle his romance with Second Aunt and the gifts are his way of announcing his courtship. His grand gesture goes awry however, when it's discovered that not all the gifts were meant for Second Aunt and the Chans-one particular gift was intended for a business rival to cement their alliance and included by accident. Of course the Aunties agree that it's only right to return the gift-after all, anyone would forgive an honest mistake, right? But what should have been a simple retrieval turns disastrous and suddenly Meddy and the Aunties are helpless pawns in a decades-long war between Jakarta's most powerful business factions. The fighting turns personal, however, when Nathan and the Aunties are endangered and it's up to Meddy to come up with a plan to save them all. Determined to rescue her loved ones, Meddy embarks on an impossible mission--but with the Aunties by her side, nothing is truly impossible."-- Leseprobe 1 The wind is a constant song in my ears, the air so cold and refreshing it sparkles against my cheeks as I whoosh down the ski slope. I can't believe this is the first time I've tried skiing. Growing up, Ma and the aunts had forbidden me from doing any "dangerous sports," which included anything more physically strenuous than chess or piano. When I was five, I suggested that I wanted to try out for the girls' soccer team. In response, Ma smacked her palms to her cheeks and wailed, "Aiya, the ball will hit you in the head and you will get brain hemo-hedge!" "What's a brain hemo-hedge?" Images of a hedge growing out of my head swirled through my mind. Ma waved her hands around her head, opening and closing her hands. "Is when all the blood come out of your head. All the blood." My mind replaced the hedge bursting out of my head with buckets of blood exploding from it in a red geyser. I swallowed, feeling ill. "Wait, so this is a thing that happens when people play soccer?" Ma nodded sagely. My mouth dropped open in horror. "Jenny plays soccer!" I couldn't believe that Mrs. Andrews would let Jenny play such a dangerous sport. Ma nodded again, this time somberly. "Ah yes. This because Jenny is middle child. You should be grateful you are only child." After that day, I hugged Jenny tight whenever I could, because the poor thing had no idea she was (1) this close to having her head explode like a watermelon on the beach, and (2) unloved due to her fraught position in the family as a middle child. Soccer was the first sport to be deemed too deadly by Ma, but over the next few months, she and the aunties added to the growing list. Softball: The ball will smash right through your chest and come out the other side! Basketball: The ball will decopitot you! (Decopitot: verb. To have something hit you in the head so forcefully that your head is replaced by that thing. Highly probable when playing high-velocity, high-strength sports like basketball in first grade.) Swimming: There will be a shark in the water, and it will eat you! "But we would swim in the pool, not the s-" "Are you talking back to your elders??!" I joined the chess club. I was the worst member in the club because I wasn't actually into chess, but there wasn't a possibility of an errant projectile hitting me and making my head spontaneously combust, so there was that. It wasn't until college that I met Selena, who dragged me to the school gym and introduced me to the wonders of exercise. I found that I liked the ru...

Autorentext

Jesse Q. Sutanto

Klappentext

What should have been a family celebration of Chinese New Year descends into chaos when longtime foes crash the party in this hilariously entertaining novel by Jesse Q. Sutanto, bestselling author of Dial A for Aunties.

After an ultra-romantic honeymoon across Europe, Meddy Chan and her husband Nathan have landed in Jakarta to spend Chinese New Year with her entire extended family. Chinese New Year, already the biggest celebration of the Lunar calendar, gets even more festive when a former beau of Second Aunt’s shows up at the Chan residence bearing extravagant gifts—he’s determined to rekindle his romance with Second Aunt and the gifts are his way of announcing his courtship.
 
His grand gesture goes awry however, when it’s discovered that not all the gifts were meant for Second Aunt and the Chans—one particular gift was intended for a business rival to cement their alliance and included by accident. Of course the Aunties agree that it’s only right to return the gift—after all, anyone would forgive an honest mistake, right? But what should have been a simple retrieval turns disastrous and suddenly Meddy and the Aunties are helpless pawns in a decades-long war between Jakarta’s most powerful business factions. The fighting turns personal, however, when Nathan and the Aunties are endangered and it’s up to Meddy to come up with a plan to save them all.  Determined to rescue her loved ones, Meddy embarks on an impossible mission—but with the Aunties by her side, nothing is truly impossible…

Leseprobe
1

The wind is a constant song in my ears, the air so cold and refreshing it sparkles against my cheeks as I whoosh down the ski slope. I can't believe this is the first time I've tried skiing. Growing up, Ma and the aunts had forbidden me from doing any "dangerous sports," which included anything more physically strenuous than chess or piano. When I was five, I suggested that I wanted to try out for the girls' soccer team. In response, Ma smacked her palms to her cheeks and wailed, "Aiya, the ball will hit you in the head and you will get brain hemo-hedge!"

"What's a brain hemo-hedge?" Images of a hedge growing out of my head swirled through my mind.

Ma waved her hands around her head, opening and closing her hands. "Is when all the blood come out of your head. All the blood."

My mind replaced the hedge bursting out of my head with buckets of blood exploding from it in a red geyser. I swallowed, feeling ill. "Wait, so this is a thing that happens when people play soccer?"

Ma nodded sagely.

My mouth dropped open in horror. "Jenny plays soccer!" I couldn't believe that Mrs. Andrews would let Jenny play such a dangerous sport.

Ma nodded again, this time somberly. "Ah yes. This because Jenny is middle child. You should be grateful you are only child."

After that day, I hugged Jenny tight whenever I could, because the poor thing had no idea she was (1) this close to having her head explode like a watermelon on the beach, and (2) unloved due to her fraught position in the family as a middle child.

Soccer was the first sport to be deemed too deadly by Ma, but over the next few months, she and the aunties added to the growing list.

Softball: The ball will smash right through your chest and come out the other side!

Basketball: The ball will decopitot you! (Decopitot: verb. To have something hit you in the head so forcefully that your head is replaced by that thing. Highly probable when playing high-velocity, high-strength sports like basketball in first grade.)

Swimming: There will be a shark in the water, and it will eat you! "But we would swim in the pool, not the s-"

"Are you talking back to your elders??!"

I joined the chess club. I was the worst member in the club because I wasn't actually into chess, but there wasn't a possibility of an errant projectile hitting me and making my head spontaneously combust, so there was …